Redundant Mammy - Time to "build" a new you!

 

Well Redundant Mammy   had a bit of a wobble this week when she realised she was no longer "building" anything. It suddenly hit her, all those years of planning and plotting her kids future, being unpaid taxi driver, referee, social worker, teacher. The goal being that her kids would be ready for the big bad world out there.Now they are, the "building" the future for them has come to an end.
So after feeling sorry for all of ten minutes Redundant Mammy dusted herself off and made a list. This is what it said.....

1. Time to "build" me!
2. What do I really want to do with the rest of my life?
3. Still trying to figure out no. 3 !!!
4. Time to get a job, meet new people and earn some money!
5. No 4 was the eventual answer to no 3
6. How do I do that? What skills can I "build" a new future with?
7. Up skill? no money to do that...or do I need money...check out free courses
8. Who needs me? Volunteering...where, how?
9.  Stop wasting time... wasting time on the past instead of planning for the future
10. List made, time now to start "building" the new me!

Check out Redundant Mammy   facebook page and keep me company on this journey. Share your stories and lets keep each other sane until we come out the other side!  

Redundant Mammy reminisces buckets and spades!

Sunshine! Amazing at last that there are blue skies and not a drop of rain. While enjoying the Summer that may only last a few days I was giving some thought to where all the endless buckets and spades and water pistols and yellow arm bands have ended up over the years? A substantial amount of money was spent on these items, with not a bit of credit for it now, I might add. What grown up child ever says "You must have spent a fortune on buckets and spades, ice cream, and days out during the Summer holidays when I was growing up" Nor did we actually add up the value of all those buckets and spades either, it's just I wonder where they all went!!! Also I miss them!!!

 Good weather brought trips and adventures and picnics, now as a Redundant Mammy there are no longer  excuses to dodge the housework and escape into the magical world of a children's Summer , and the thing is we always felt there was so much we had to do. That demon guilt ticking away, spend time making memories or spend time catching up on  the to do list posted on the fridge door.

Whether employed inside or outside the home it is now a different time with offspring settled in their "grown up" world. Summers are different. More time after work, more "me" time but if you are still in the earlier years make the most of it and forget those lists, they will be there when you get back.
For those of you sending them off to the gaeltacht or overnight Summer camp plan ahead for how you are going to enjoy your time and remember this is their time to make new memories. Having said all that, I think I will go search in the garage tomorrow to see if I can find all those buckets and spades, maybe someone will get use out of them again! Enjoy the sunshine!

5 STAGES OF REDUNDANT MAMMY

1. Baby   New mammy, suddenly you are thrown into a whole new world with someone depending on you for everything, no training and yet you seem to be doing ok. Lack of sleep and yet you feel needed in a way like never before

2. Toddler Tantrums  Independence comes and every day they grow and life is all about boundaries and battles, they want to do things their way in their time and you learn the true art of patience.

3. Big School   From playschool through to the first day at Primary school Redundant Mammy learns how to let go like never before and yet is unproductive in her tasks as she thinks about her child in a different world without her. The child thrives and mammy frets, missing the time spent together.

4. Big Big School  The sight of her "baby" in a post primary school uniform is scary, they look so grown up and moving on so fast in their independent world. The redundant feeling is increased by the fact that said child is embarrassed by their mothers every word and act. Back to boundaries and tantrums, replaced by moods!

5. College   For all their time in Big Big School, Mammy encouraged and bribed their offspring to study and do well and get that place in college. The day that you leave them there you wish that you hadn't. The "empty nest" and Redundant Mammy feeling is overwhelming ...... until they arrive home at the weekend with their dirty washing!

Among all these stages are little moments and events, that make Redundant Mammy question if I am not "Mammy" who am I?  and what do I do next? Time to make that plan if you have not already done so. Theres a whole new world out there waiting on you! 

MAKE A PLAN!

From personal experience, this Redundant Mammy spoke a lot about making a plan but left it much later than she should have. There are many projects we would all like to have done, but life took us in  different directions BUT it is never too late. If you don't already work outside the home but know that you are going to have a lot more time on your hands when you become a "Redundant Mammy" start your research now. Dream the dream and plan ahead. Up skill so that you can be ready to apply for that job you know you would be really good at. Research the college degree you never got around to study for, or let the female entrepreneur in you take over and look what business or service is missing in your area. If you are currently working outside the home you too should plan ahead for the extra time on your hands, up skill, extra study or maybe even a new hobby. Believe me there is a void where all the time was spent doing Mammy things but the good news now is that is your time! So , plan ahead and let us know how you get on.

I AM A BLOGGER!

Unfortunately just an image,I can but dream! A virtual celebration that many hours later I have mastered the art of blogging, maybe there are benefits to being a Redundant Mammy after all!

REDUNDANT MAMMY, WHO AM I?

OK, first posting on a blog so might not be a great read, but here goes!!! Are you a Redundant Mammy? One day you are changing nappies, packing them off to school with their ham sandwiches, encouraging them to study hard for those really big end of the world exams, then off to college they go. All in the blink on an eye.
Then of course it's just the beginning of them leaving the nest, college followed by independence, followed by occasional visits home and yes there you are a Redundant Mammy!
Every now and again there comes a call, an emergency that only mammy can fix, like does the chicken really have to be fully defrosted before I cook it or  I just turned the washing machine on with red socks in with my white shirt, what do I do now?
So this blog is about what does mammy do now? She's still young, ok, well young at heart but all her years of training have been about making choices to suit her family. If employed outside the home, its nearly always mammy that had to rush home if the school rings to say her little darling isn't feeling well, but now...the school isn't ringing, there's no one to pick up , no dropping off at football/drama/dancing, no one emptying the fridge and  the issue of "Do I really need to make dinner for just me?" (or two as the case may be!)
All of this paints a pretty gloomy picture of the Redundant Mammy, BUT out there is a new and exciting life, with endless challenges and opportunities. Let us know, are you that survivor, did you turn your world around, do you wear your new title with pride?